i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
