how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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