that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Who wears a wallet chain?!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize