I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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