I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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