were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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