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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2

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• (206): View more from Washington

  You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks

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• (347): View more from New York

  I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.

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