Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
