Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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