I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
