Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Randomize
