Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
