Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
