It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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