One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
nutella sex= disaster
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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