And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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