ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
