she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
