yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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