Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
