So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
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