Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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