Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
