Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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