I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
