I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
