is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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