she takes plan B like it's going out of style
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
