Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
false alarm, still single
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