i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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