I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
