Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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