Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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