i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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