found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
