So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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