I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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