He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
