My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
