I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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