Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
bring money and cleavage
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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