I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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