you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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