So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
