he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize