i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Terrible idea I love it
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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