does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
