direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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