I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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