she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
