All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
