apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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