you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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