He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
