Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize