How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
