Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
