I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
