Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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