Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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