Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
