..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
