Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
