Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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