I hate your face
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
