ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
