I'm lost and stupid without you.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
