If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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