he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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