the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
