But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
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