All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
there is another microwave in the elevator.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
