Me. At least after what I've been through.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
