whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
