ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
