Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
