Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
