She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
