Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
