Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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